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Kirsty Keating a life coach.

 

Stick or switch – How to make the BIG decision

Heather Wallace


When you don’t know what to do, my best advice is to do nothing until clarity comes. Getting still, being able to hear your own voice and not the voices of the world, quickens clarity.
— Oprah

Life is full of big and small decisions and they all have big and small impacts that are not always relative to size of the question at the time. I had a BIG decision to make a few years ago that would change the course of my life or maybe not but it felt big, urgent, important and really stressful.

I had to decide whether or not to move me and my 2 small children, selling the family home after divorce or stay and try to make it work.

This felt HUGE. I was in a 4 bedroom dream home. You know the one ? The one with the ceaser stone benchtop  breakfast bar, deck onto the garden with tomatoes home-grown ready to be picked for dinner, 3 toilets, an office for you to create your dream ‘work from home job’. Yip the full kahuna! Livin the dream….. except now I was getting divorced and had a toddler and baby and this was no longer my dream or was it? It felt impossibly multi-faceted and open and also incredibly overwhelming all at the same time.

What to do… nothing, well not exactly. I decided, prompted by a wise friend to just ‘try on’ each decision for a day or a week. So, as advised I tried on the idea of keeping the house. My mind began to look at ways to make it work. I looked into mortgage payments, returning to full time work, renting rooms out, remaining in the area and considering the schools my kids would grow up and go to. I could instantly feel the stress rise, the possibilities shrink, my life shrink into an endless cycle of debt, pressure, no family time and little freedom. I gulped the air around me and wondered if maybe I was just chickening out of responsibility and growing up, standing on my own two ladyboss feet?

Well let’s try the other option for size. Sell the house, buy a smaller one? A bit like Goldilocks that bed was still not the right fit for me. Okay, third time lucky lets try the ‘lets move back to the beach an just rent’  a bit of  a wait and see but go where you love kind of deal.

Ahh, instantly whilst a bit scary it felt hopeful. My body felt nervous but excited to look for a smaller place (less cleaning), not owning (less responsibility as 2 kids was enough for my cup then) and being back in my old ‘hood’ smelling the ocean daily to perk my tender spirits and recover my vibe. Yip, I could try that option on and it fit pretty good, like a trusty old pair of your favourite jeans.

I still use this for major decisions to ground myself and whilst decisions to do not always turn out the way you imagined and you may not always trust your instinct you will now when it ‘clicks’ or feels better to instinctively a big fat NO. Try it.